Have you ever heard the saying, “Sometimes, you have to lose the battle to win the war”?
Well, Robert Greene’s Law No. 22, “Use the Surrender Tactic: Transform Weakness into Power,” takes this idea and runs with it.
It’s about knowing when to step back, yield, or even appear to give up in order to gain the upper hand in the long game.
Now, I get it - “surrender” doesn’t sound like a winning strategy. It sounds... passive. But in negotiations, it can be a secret weapon if used wisely. Let me show you what I mean with a real-life example.
The Freelance Writer’s “Concession”
Alex is a freelance writer. He negotiated a big contract with a start-up. The start-up loved his work but balked at his rate, saying their budget just couldn’t stretch that far.
Instead of digging in his heels, Alex did something unexpected: he surrendered.
He agreed to reduce his rate, but with a twist.
He offered a lower fee for the first project but tied it to a condition: a review and renegotiation after three months if the partnership worked well.
He also included clauses that limited revisions and clearly defined the scope of work to ensure the project wouldn’t spiral into more hours than expected.
The start-up eagerly agreed, feeling like they’d scored a win. But here’s the catch: Alex wasn’t actually losing anything. Locking in the trial period meant he got his foot in the door with minimal risk.
Three months later, after delivering stellar work, Alex renegotiated for a higher rate - and secured a long-term contract.
His “surrender” wasn’t a loss. It was a strategic move that turned a potential dealbreaker into a win-win.
How to Master the Surrender Tactic in Negotiations
Here’s how you can use this strategy without feeling like you’re giving up too much:
1. Know When to Yield
Surrender doesn’t mean giving up on everything; it’s being strategic. Ask yourself:
Is this concession temporary or reversible?
Does it give me an advantage in the long run?
Am I creating goodwill or earning trust by yielding?
If the answer is yes, stepping back might actually move you forward.
2. Attach Strings to Your Concessions
When you make a concession, ensure its conditional:
Tie it to a time limit or a future renegotiation.
Make it contingent on meeting specific milestones.
Use it as leverage to gain something else in return.
This way, you’re not just giving ground, you’re trading it for a better position later.
3. Use Weakness to Build Trust
Sometimes, showing a bit of vulnerability can humanize you and disarm the other side. For example:
Admitting, “I understand your budget concerns—here’s how I can help meet them,” can make you seem collaborative rather than combative.
Acknowledging their perspective creates a sense of partnership, which is often more valuable than a short-term win.
4. Keep the Bigger Picture in Mind
Remember, surrendering on one point doesn’t mean surrendering on the entire deal.
Pick your battles wisely. Focus on the terms that matter most to you and be willing to let go of the rest.
Why It Works
Here’s the magic of the surrender tactic: it’s unexpected. People often enter negotiations bracing for a fight.
When you yield strategically, you take them off guard, shifting the dynamic from adversarial to cooperative.
Surrender is not about weakness but about control. It’s recognizing when the best move isn’t to fight harder but to step back, regroup, and let the other side come to you.
So, the next time you’re negotiating, ask yourself: is this a moment to push forward, or a moment to surrender?
With the right strategy, you might just turn that apparent loss into your biggest gain.
What’s the smartest “surrender” you’ve ever made in a negotiation? I’d love to hear your story!